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Clear is Kind: Assertiveness within our Insights Discovery Colour Preferences
I recently delivered an Assertiveness Training session here at Jarrold Training that sparked a lot of honest reflection and lively conversation, especially around what assertiveness feels like and how it’s often misunderstood. One of the most ideas we explored came from a quote from Brené Brown:
“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
At first glance, this sounds simple. Who wouldn’t prefer clarity over confusion? But when it comes to communicating assertively, especially under pressure, what is ‘clear’ to one person may feel ‘unkind’ to another. This is where our personality preferences come into play, and why I brought in the Insights Discovery colour energies to deepen the conversation.
The Kindness of Clarity
Assertiveness isn’t about being forceful, unkind or loud. It’s about being honest and respectful to both parties. It’s about saying what needs to be said with both clarity and care.
We all have our own relationship with Assertiveness which is shaped by our personality type and life experiences.
Some personality types may avoid being clear and stating their own needs trying to be “nice” or not offend. Ironically, that vagueness often causes more confusion, anxiety, and conflict in the long run. As Brené Brown’s quote reminds us, ambiguity can be a form of avoidance, not kindness.
Some personality types may express clear information and lack some consideration in how it may be perceived and recieved by the other party, their communication based on getting the information across but may feel unkind in the delivery.
Insights of Assertiveness
Using the Insights Discovery model, we explored how our leading colour energy preferences shape both how we express assertiveness and how we interpret it from others. Here’s a brief snapshot of how the different energies may connect with assertiveness:
🔴 Fiery Red Energy: Action-Oriented and Direct
Assertiveness usually comes naturally here. People leading with red are often clear and decisive in their communication style. However, they may need to check in on how that clarity lands. Could it be interpreted as bluntness or insensitivity? Being kind with tone and timing is key.
🟡 Sunshine Yellow Energy: Enthusiastic and Expressive
Yellows are generally comfortable speaking up, but they may avoid uncomfortable truths to keep the mood upbeat. Assertiveness for them may mean embracing constructive honesty and being okay with temporary discomfort in service of long-term trust.
🟢 Earth Green Energy: Caring and Supportive
This is where clarity can feel most difficult. Greens prioritise harmony and may soften or withhold what really needs to be said in order to not hurt another persons feelings. But kindness here means not avoiding… instead, learning to assert needs and boundaries calmly and clearly for the long term benefit for all parties.
🔵 Cool Blue Energy – Precise and Considered
Blues value clarity and logic but may hesitate to assert themselves if it means stepping into the unknown or creating conflict. Their challenge is to speak up with confidence, trusting that being clear doesn’t mean being confrontational or cold.
Assertiveness Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All
A key takeaway the delegates took from the session was that assertiveness isn’t about adopting a different personality, it’s about finding your authentic voice and using it to communicate clearly and respectfully. And that looks different depending on your colour preference:
🔵 Leading Cool Blue Preference may need to trust their clarity and step into the moment, even if it feels messy.
🟢 Leading Earth Green Preference may need to remember that discomfort isn’t cruelty, it’s part of growth.
🟡 Leading Sunshine Yellow Preference may need to get comfortable with saying “no” and setting boundaries.
🔴 Leading Fiery Red Preference may benefit from slowing down and adding a layer of empathy to their directness.
In a world where so many conversations are diluted, messy, misunderstood or avoided, clarity is a gift. Assertiveness is the skill that delivers that gift, wrapped in respect, grounded in values, and adapted to your style.
If you lead with a feeling function trait (Earth Green and/ or Sunshine Yellow) perhaps the next time you are tempted to soften a truth or skirt around an issue, ask yourself: “Am I being kind, or just avoiding discomfort?”
If you lead with a thinking function trait (Cool Blue and/or Fiery Red) perhaps the next time you are ready to ‘call out’ a situation, ask yourself: “In my effort to be clear, have I considered the way I deliver the information, as clarity without care can still feel unkind?”
Because in leadership, in teamwork, in life…
Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.
How do you feel about Asserting yourself?
